Podcast: Ep. #127 – How to Stop Letting Your Past Beliefs and Habits Affect Your New Relationships
How to stop letting your past beliefs and habits affect your new relationships


I’m bringing back a listener-favorite episode today, and it’s all about relationships! I really believe this is an important topic we all need to talk about (and learn more about) often.

Sometimes, we bring in past beliefs, habits, and trauma we’ve experienced into new relationships-it can be easy to do so, because that’s what we know, and are used to. I want to dive into how this affects us and our relationships though, because it’s important work we need to do.

I have my own real-life example that relates to this, and it has to do with my hair and hair products.

So, I have naturally curly hair and I have a love/hate relationship with it. Trying to find hair products that actually work has been a bit of a challenge over the years!

A few years ago, I found something that worked and I absolutely loved. Part of what made it work was that you had to use a ton of it and you’d let it soak into your hair. Then, you’d rinse most of it out, but there’d still be some left, and blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately, they changed the formula and it didn’t work for me anymore, so I went back to the shopping board and I started trying other things.

I recently found a new product and I’m giving it a try; it’s activated by water and you don’t use very much product, so there’s no need to ‘slop’ it on, because a little goes a long way. Now this is dramatically different from what I was used to, and unless I’m paying close attention, I find myself going back to the habit of using a lot of product and I end up wasting a bunch because I’m doing the same old routine with this new product. In the end, it just leaves me dissatisfied with results.

How my hair product drama can relate to our past beliefs and habits in new relationships.

Can you kind of tell where I’m going with this? It’s just like how we are in our relationships, and bringing old habits and beliefs into new ones. When you go through a breakup, it hurts. Maybe you had someone cheat on you or abuse you, or things just didn’t work out, but you took a slap to your self-esteem, and you need some time to let your wounds heal.

When you’re ready, you start dating again and getting to know new people. Before long, you’re in a new relationship that’s pretty fun and exciting in the beginning, but if you’re not paying close attention, you’ll go back to your beliefs and habits of the past.

In today’s episode, I’m talking about:

  • Really digging into what you’re bringing from past relationships into new ones, and how it’s affecting the people in your life
  • How to discover what’s upsetting you and/or hurting your feelings in relationships
  • Learning to see people as actual people, and not lumping them into a certain category
  • Why you need to take ownership of where you are and make positive changes moving forward

No matter how much someone wants to be able to heal a wound for you, they can’t do it. You have to be the one putting in the work to heal it. Going back to my hair product story, the key is to notice that you’re trying to make the old practice of using tons of product fit with the minimal amount of the new one. Once you are aware of what’s going on in your life, you can start to change it. You can make different choices, and decide if this relationship really is for you or not.

Honestly, it all starts with you, and the work you have to do on yourself. Once you’re aware of this, you’re able to make different (and better) choices for your future. It’s going to take some time, but the outcome will be totally worth it. I want you to create more self-confidence and self-love, because this will lead to you having some truly awesome relationships in your life that you deserve!

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

  • Are you ready for a life coach? If so, connect with me at The Heart of Confidence. I want to help you break free from the cage of your limiting beliefs!
  • Connect with me over on Instagram so we can continue this conversation!
  • This episode is sponsored by http://www.positivevibecoffeeco.com. Enter the code Podcast at checkout, and you’ll get 15% off your first order!

Related Episodes

Connecting with Your Partner

EPISODE 133 SHOW NOTES The theme of ‘connection’ I’ve been doing is so important to me, and the topic I’m sharing about today is no different. Connecting with your partner is needed now, more than ever-especially with the huge disconnect we’re experiencing from real...

read more

Connecting with Your Kids

EPISODE 132 SHOW NOTES When it comes to your kids, do you try to protect them by removing every discomfort they may experience? You want to keep them as safe as possible from the negativity and challenges that happen in life, but this actually ends up creating a...

read more

Connecting with Yourself

EPISODE 130 SHOW NOTES You probably know by now I love to really step back and observe every situation and everything going on in life, from a detached place. I actually teach this kind of practice in my mini-course, The Hot Mess Method, in order to create lasting...

read more
Skip to content