EPISODE 122 SHOW NOTES
Do you struggle to talk with your partner about finances? Do you feel like you are on opposite paths, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to see eye-to-eye on things? If you struggle in this area, you’re definitely not alone, but it can create a pretty crappy dynamic. Money and finances can be one of the biggest conflicts in relationships, so I want to help you uncover what may be happening with you and your partner, so you can get on the same financial path.
These are just a few ways of financial control I’ve brainstormed (based on my own experiences, and with my family, friends, and clients). I want you to really take a look at which one of these resonates with you, what you’re going through, what you’re doing, and where the control maybe could be let go, or shifted.
Of course, I’ll also be sharing some ways for your to work through these, for yourself, and for you and your partner as a couple.
In today’s episode, I cover 5 different types of financial control, which are:
- Making our own decisions and not having someone tell us what to do
- Sacrificing everything for your partner (acting like a martyr)
- Fear or ‘lack of’ mentality (no, your partner is not responsible for your mentality or beliefs you have from growing up)
- Having the final say (‘the buck stops here’ frame of mind)
- Spending money intentionally to aggravate your partner (‘poke the bear’, which is another mentality you need to stay away from)
I’m also covering more about:
- Why you both need to take responsibility for your actions, no matter who did what to get there
- How to actually talk with and have those difficult conversations with your partner about your finances
Finances are a huge source of contention, and it really kind of does impact our freedom. So when we show up with your telling our partner they’re being controlling, that they’re overspending, or if we’re just calling them out on everything, it’s just going to add fuel to the fire, and it’s not going to benefit anyone. Ultimately, you’re going to have to show up to this conversation differently.
You’re going to have to show up when things are at more of a ‘mellow’ spot-not during a huge blow up. You need to be able to explain yourself, and as a result of what you’ve learned from this episode, you’ll absolutely be able to. You’re going to come to this conversation with your partner and say “I feel like I need to exercise my own control, and I’m using money to do that”.
This is not a surface level topic, so really digging deep, being vulnerable, and honestly sharing with your partner about what you’re feeling is key. Remember-you can’t change or control your partner, but you are responsible for YOU, and you have to own your crap-plain and simple. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, whether it’s a financial coach, advisor, etc., so you can get to a solid place with your finances, and show up fully in your relationship.
I’m always cheering you on, and am proud of the work you’re doing week after week friend. Keep showing up for yourself and your loved ones as you continue to make the world a better place!
Resources and links mentioned in today’s episode:
- Are you ready for a life coach? If so, connect with me at The Heart of Confidence. I want to help you break free from the cage of your limiting beliefs!
- Connect with me over on Instagram so we can continue this conversation!
- This episode is sponsored by Audible-get a free 30 day trial when you go to https://www.audibletrial.com/functioninghotmess