EPISODE 132 SHOW NOTES
When it comes to your kids, do you try to protect them by removing every discomfort they may experience? You want to keep them as safe as possible from the negativity and challenges that happen in life, but this actually ends up creating a disconnect (which is the opposite of what you’re trying to do).
When it came to my three boys, I learned very quickly that all of them are very different, and how I needed to connect with them was different, too. For example, when my oldest son would get upset or angry, I knew it was because he was hungry, and needed something to eat. Instead of trying to argue with him and get into a power struggle all of the time, I recognized that he probably just needed a snack of some kind. With my middle kid, he would act similarly, but his behavior was due to him being tired. He always needed regular naps and to get to bed on time. Sometimes this worked, and sometimes it didn’t, because we know that naps can be a struggle for sure, but I could always tell when he needed sleep.
My youngest son was a little tougher to figure out because he was always a pretty happy kid. He’s more of my ‘feeler’, and my emotional guy. Whenever his brothers or someone in our family were upset, or there was tension going on, he was right there.
You may know how to connect with your kids when they’re little, but those ways won’t always work as they mature, and get older.
While I learned what my kids usually needed when they were younger, it became more challenging as they got older (I’m sure you can relate!) I’ve learned that connecting with your kids can never be done as a one-size-fits-all approach (especially if you have multiple kids), so I want to share more about what that can look like, no matter how old your kids are.
In today’s episode, I’m talking about:
- Getting really present (avoiding distractions as much as possible) and connecting in a way that is unique to each kid
- Recognizing that the same things that worked for your kids when they were young won’t necessarily work as they get older
- Why you need to stop trying to be someone or something you’re not (your kids WILL be able to tell), and instead, choose to be your authentic self
- Learning to not always feel like we have to control our kids, and make them believe and see things the same way we do
- Finding new ways and tools that will help you learn how to connect with your kids
Connecting with your kids through all seasons and stages of life.
I want you to remember-you are raising your kids to fly and leave the nest, so they should become independent. That doesn’t mean they should be disrespectful or wreaking havoc everywhere they go, but learning to trust your kids and supporting them in the best ways possible (through all of their seasons) will help so much when you’re trying to build that connection.
We all make mistakes when it comes to parenting our kids (don’t beat yourself for doing your best-we’ve all been there). I truly believe that whatever your relationship is like with your kids, you can strengthen and improve it if you’re willing to put in the work, so I hope you choose to!
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
- Are you ready for a life coach? If so, connect with me at The Heart of Confidence. I want to help you break free from the cage of your limiting beliefs!
- Connect with me over on Instagram so we can continue this conversation!
- This episode is sponsored by Audible-get a free 30 day trial when you go to https://www.audibletrial.com/functioninghotmess